V's left us. For the past 2 weeks, I lost the smile on my face because I was worried that I wouldn't be able to cope with the extra work when V leaves. It seemed that I've to take over V's work when she leaves. When CP saw the expression on my face, she was stressed up too. *faint smile*
V's really good: efficient and responsible. She's been passing me all her incoming work for the past few days because she had to wrap up her work before she leaves. When she saw that I couldn't finish the work she passed me, she suggested returning to the office yesterday (Saturday) for a while to do some work and she'll finish wrapping up. Her last official day was Friday-18 November 2005. Essentially, she returned to the office yesterday without getting paid for it.
Every morning, when I reach the office, the sounds of her radio will greet me. She's always there before me. We start work at 9am. Every day, she goes to the office at 8.30am. If I've such a capable employee as her-she handles 2 people's work-I'd make sure she feels appreciated for all that she's put in. I'd told V that when she leaves, the first thing we'll miss will be the sounds of her radio. She said then that "I'm bringing my radio with me. If you want, you get your own (radio)."
Yesterday, V said that she'll definitely miss all of us. She likes her colleagues, her immediate bosses and her work. She's really brave-taking a plunge into the uncertain future even though she knows that it's not easy to look for another job at her age (47). Much as I wish that she'd find a better employer who appreciates her, the sorrow of her departure overwhelms me.
V's been like my "Mummy"/auntie. She tells me occasionally to "go and (further your) studies" or if there's a better job offer elsewhere, take it up. Apart from this, she always keeps a lookout for me, always taking care of me. She always teaches me the niceties of the world because I'm a bumbling fool who offends people easily with my blunt and direct manner. Although she's never said it, I feel that she's treats me like her daughter or niece. With her happy-go-lucky manner, she never fails to make me laugh.
Yesterday, before she left, she handed me her radio and said that it's a souvenir for me, that without the familiarity of the sounds from her radio, AD and SVC would be bored. I think that she gave me the radio because I gave her tea leaves as a parting gift. When I leave, I'll take the radio with me. It's great sentimental value for me.
After the final goodbye and the door closed behind her, I suddenly realised that I'd lost a "Mummy" or a family member. Unless V and I are fated to meet again, we'll probably never cross paths again. The sound of the door closing behind her made her departure seem final.
In accident litigation, we always ask the drivers "How many seconds was it after you stepped on your brakes that you collided into the car ahead?" In this case, after the door closed behind V, 2 seconds later, I started crying. I cried and cried. For the next half hour, I couldn't stop. When I finally could stop, I thought of her and the tears started again. I continued crying on and off for the rest of yesterday. Maybe AD is right, I'm still a baby. I cried myself to sleep last night.
This morning, I woke up thinking that after a good night's rest, the tears would have stopped as that's usually what happens. But no, something is wrong with my tear glands. The tears keep on coming. Why don't they stop? I'm so tired from crying. It's been such a long time since I cried for so long. To be honest, I can't remember the last time I cried for more than a day or if I had even had such an experience.
I'd intended to let V know next year when I get accepted into Uni. It's just like when you share your achievements with your parents, you know they'd be proud of you. Now, V won't be around to share my joy.
I'm only into my 7th month of work/working life. Yet, V has made such an impact on me. I didn't realise it till now, till the moment I started crying (non-stop). AD had said that for the past few days, I looked as if I was going to a funeral because I was so stressed up over taking over V's work that I lost the smile on my face. AD seems to have said it right. The tears keep dripping.
I'd no idea that parting is so tearful. I always grew from previous unhappy experiences. Will I become stronger from this?
I think I need a break. The stress of working and of V's departure is taking its toll on me. I'm snapping at Mum and I know I shouldn't. The minute AD tenders her resignation, I'll tender mine too. I don't want to send off someone else again and cry non-stop like now. Partings and/or crying like this should only be for funerals.
