Test

Testing, testing, one, two, three.

There are various kinds and forms of tests. The above is a typical mike test. In education, we have the all-too-familiar writing and verbal tests to see our standard. Then there are physical tests for some to see if they can outrun the robbers who have just robbed them. In life, hardships are a test to both yourself and the ones around you. It is the last kind of test which I am contemplating about.

I have been and am constantly tested. Life itself is a test. To see how much a person can take before he breaks. To see how the weak become strong and the strong become weak. There is no point lamenting about the test(s) because this is your life and you alone have to face the test. No one else can overcome your test for you.

Hardships make good tests. Not only of myself, of my ability to overcome problems, of my determination and willpower, but also of the people are around me. You suddenly realize that in times of need, the people who seem to care actually don't. And the people who have always been in the background are the ones who will lend you support at this time. The gods test me and give me a chance to test others. I am tested for my willpower to endure difficult times; I test others for their steadfastness to stick with me in the difficult times. Tests are a perfect way to build trust, gain trust and also, break trust. The cloud of fog that makes you short-sighted in your judgment of others clear and you begin to see the world with clarity.

I do not recommend testing the people around you unless you can take the harsh reality in the event the test results turn out to be unfavourable. Painful as it is, I still test because I am Seeker. At the expense of being hurt by the truth because of expectations, I seek to know the truth. Only the truth is flawless. The rest is tainted.

My test disappointed me. I'd gone ahead with the test knowing there was a possibility my test could turn out bad results. I wanted to test because only by testing do you know who is true to you. Only by testing do you know who you can rely on in future without having to waste any more time thinking that you can rely on someone when that person is too weak to support you.

Mine was a conscious/purposeful test. Half the time, you don't have to conduct the test on purpose because the results will still be the same. The truth doesn't lie. Consciously/unconsciously/sub-consciously, you realize that the (purposeful or not) test results are the same: Who is there right now who wasn't there in the past won't be there for you in the future; who is there right now who wasn't there in the past can be there for you in the future; who is there right now who was there in the past won't be there for you in the future; who is there right now who was there in the past will also be there in the future.

When the next test comes, I will be there for you. When future tests come, will you be there for me?