Respect To Self And Reputation To Family

I was recently better acquainted with this topic as a result of Dae Jang Geum. In that show, we saw initially Lady Choi's reluctance to cause the death of her friend, Min Young (Jang Geum's Mum). But Lady Choi came from a family which had held the position of Top Lady for 5 generations. She, against her will, eventually turned the other way to uphold the honour to self and family. We saw too how Choi Geum Young also went through the same predicament of choosing the same path.

When I watched Dae Jang Geum, I didn't think much about how important it was to Lady Choi to maintain that reputation of her family. I just thought she was damn evil, evil to the core. Only when I came across other information about Korean culture did I realise that what I'd so easily dismissed was actually highly valued in Koeran (and I think also Japanese) society. Reminds me of the archaic times of the Chinese emperors where females who are raped would commit suicide because their chastity had been tainted. There's a common thread through the Chinese females committing suicide or Lady Choi/Choi Geum Young scheming and plotting against Jang Geum or modern Koreans studying impossibly hard (Sleep four hours and fail. Sleep three hours and pass.) to secure a place in a (good) university. It's all for respect from others to self and family.

Traditions have eroded over time for better and for worse. Maybe I'll lament the Gen Y of today for taking issues like pre-marital sex, drug consumption lightly. But one has to live with the times. I'm still glad I'm not bound by an extremely rigid code of honour where it's family first, self second. I'm glad my family won't force me to be with someone I don't feel for (I'm watching too much of Korean shows) or force me to study because it'll bring honour to the family. Rather, I'm forced to study hard and do well because paper qualifications are of paramount importance in order to secure a good pay/job in our society. Honour to family and self will come as a result of doing well. Honour will come later. It takes second place compared to getting a good pay/job.

It is when I see communities like the Korean society where the reputation of a family is more important than the feelings of the individual that I am reminded of what Elan said: "Filial Piety which a highly prized confucius ideal had long since evolved from being an admirable sentiment, to a form of emotional blackmail, an act of love to an act of obligation. It is even an act perpetuated by law." Filial piety is pure and natural because you are grateful to your parents. It should not be demanded because the expectation of something in return causes the original pristine love to be twisted/perverted.