Giving Up

Thomas Edison once said: "Many of life's failures are people who do not realise how close they are to success when they gave up."

I have given up training. The training which I so love. I've always said one fine day, I'd quit training but I always returned to training after a lapse. I've finally given up training as I've always said I would. Part of the reason is that I know it's not my forte. Sure, I was much better than before. I can be even better, I know. If only I train harder. But one should know his strengths, weaknesses and limitations. I am not an athlete; I do not possess a gifting in sports like Em or her sisters. I look at Nick, SY, Ching and know that they only need to train a little to go very far. For me, I need to work doubly, triply hard to get there.

The last time I went back to training was last Fri-16/6. To visit. I do miss training. The team spirit. The individual competiveness. Sam Sir said it's a waste to give up years of training. I agree. Sam Sir said that he thinks I have yet to reach my niche. Maybe he is right. Afterall, he's been teaching for more than 10 years. What kind of students haven't he seen? I am grateful for his words. At the same time, I am filled with guilt/shame because giving up training is not just me alone. It is also giving up the hope that Sam Sir, John Sir and the rest of the instructors have in me, their effort that they've put in to train me to become who I am today-physically and mentally. 一日为师,终生为父. I do not wish to disappoint them. They are great teachers, the best there can ever be. Sam Sir'd said that it matters not if you are not a fighter. If you can train out good fighters, that's something too. Sam Sir was trying to encourage me. But.

I honestly do not know if I'll become a success in TKD and I shall never know. I have given it up. I HATE failing. To save me from more heartaches, I might as well go into something I'm excellent in. Some things I will give up; others I'll pursue relentlessly. But I did not know that giving up is not an easy task too.